Sanity. A word that seldom emerge from the sea of everyday conversation. People will readily tell you that they are insane - insane from working too hard, insane from the screaming kids, insane from the demanding in-laws, insane from coping with all of these - all at the same time. However, nobody will readily tell you that they are sane, apart from those who are actually insane.

I don’t understand why has sanity become such an endangered species, until I realize that I myself have been searching for sanity for a very long time.

When I first started out blogging, I didn’t know where I am heading. I just wrote.

It seemed like such a novel idea at that time to be able to throw words into the air and let it land anywhere in the world wide web. It doesn’t matter what I am writing about or who am I writing to. All I knew was, it was fun. After a while, people started to leave comments. Some helpful, some gibberish. Some encouraging, some downright rude. But the point here is this,

people actually read what I have to say.

I began to write more, hoping that this may one day become one of the superstar blogs that will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams. It is still a wild dream. :)

In the pursuit of millions, I lost my voice.

I lost the thing that made people want to read my stuff. I read how others did it. I signed up for training. I tried learning the tricks that will propel me into blogging stardom. I am still nowhere near. I’m still losing the thread that binds it all.

I gave my blog a new name - the journey within. It does epitomizes what I do, but it failed to answer a very simple question - why am I journeying within.

I’ve come to realize that my journey has not been without its fruits. But the destination, is in fact, trying to find sanity, for now.

I wish I have a more sexy word for sanity, but i don’t. My search for truth is to actually find sanity. Sanity in my work, sanity in relationship, sanity in my life. Maybe the sexy name can be “finding order amidst chaos”.

I’ll stick with sanity.